


Suspicious Minds & Sorry

by treksnoopy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treksnoopy/pseuds/treksnoopy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a recurring issue in the boy's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suspicious Minds & Sorry

These were written to be read back to back. The inspiration pics proceed each story and were originally posted at [](http://jim-and-bones.livejournal.com/profile)[**jim_and_bones**](http://jim-and-bones.livejournal.com/). Join the comm to see more!

Horrific comma abuse was bravely endure by the fantastic [](http://umbrellas-can.livejournal.com/profile)[**umbrellas_can**](http://umbrellas-can.livejournal.com/). Thanks for the beta darlin'! All remaining issues/problem are mine.

**Title:** Suspicious Minds  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Pairing:** Kirk/McCoy  
 **Summary:** There is a recurring issue in the boy's relationship.  
 **Warnings:** Angst  
 **Disclaimer:** All things Trek belong to Mr Roddenberry and TPTB. I own nothing except some fantastic fantasies.  
Pics originally posted for the April 12th, 2011 DC  & DD 

 

_**Suspicious Minds**_  
Songwriter: Mark James  
Performed By Elvis Presley

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/treksnoopy/pic/0001dx3q/)

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/treksnoopy/pic/0001e4c9/)

The first time it happened, Jim just shook it off. He knows Bones doesn’t mean any of the things that he said, not really. They love each other too much. He knows his own reputation, and this thing between them is so new; he could understand how Bones could easily jumped to the wrong conclusion. But everything is going to be alright now. Besides, Bones all territorial and jealous is actually pretty sweet. He apologized as soon as he realized it was just a misunderstanding. Yes, everything is going to be fine now.

****

_We're caught in a trap_  
 _I can't walk out_  
 _Because I love you too much baby_

_Why can't you see_  
 _What you're doing to me_  
 _When you don't believe a word I say?_

Bones was upset. Jim knew it had something to do with him, but damned if he knew what. Bones kept glancing at him, wary but expectant. Thankfully they were in Jim’s quarters when everything blew up over dinner. Jim could hardly believe his ears as Bones accused him of not only sleeping with the ambassador, but the heads of the last two planets they’d been on.

Five hours later, after a review of all the mission logs and an interrogation that Special Ops would have been proud of, Bones is apologizing again through a flood of tears. Jim’s heart aches and he’s exhausted, but if this is what it takes for Bones to finally understand that Jim would never cheat on him then it’s been worth it. Everything will be alright now. As they lay in the darkness, wrapped tightly together, they talk about the future. They talk about their next shore leave and the end of the mission. They talk about signing up for another tour together. They talk about remodeling the house in Georgia and about how it means they will be able to see Joanna more often. They talk about everything and nothing. Yes, everything is going to be fine now.

****

_We can't go on together_  
 _With suspicious minds_  
 _And we can't build our dreams_  
 _On suspicious minds_

_So, if an old friend I know_  
 _Drops by to say hello_  
 _Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?_

_Here we go again_  
 _Asking where I've been_  
 _You can't see these tears are real_  
 _I'm crying_

Bones knew he was meeting Spock, Nyota and Gaila for lunch. He knew that! After lunch he and Gaila had just been hanging out. They shopped for a bit, and when the rain started they’d headed back to the apartment that Jim and Bones shared to watch a vid. They were both soaked to the skin so Jim had loaned Gaila some clothes and Jim’s fit her better than Bones’ would have. The vid was boring and they’d fallen asleep next to each other on the couch. Gaila being Gaila had apparently snuggled up next to him in her sleep. Jim being Jim had cuddled right back. They were friends and it’s not like it was something that had never happened before. Apparently, that was the problem.

When Bones came home and found them, it was obvious what he was thinking. He’d simply made a snarky comment and headed to the bedroom. Poor Gaila had just looked at Jim, completely confused. Jim had assured her that Bones had probably just had a bad day and that she should go home. He’d take care of it. While she looked skeptical, she’d done as he asked and left quietly.

When he reached the bedroom and saw Bones was throwing clothes into a bag, his throat felt like it was closing up and he could barely breathe. Bones didn’t even look up when he said it - just asked if he had a good time with his fuck buddy. Jim goes numb. He can NOT believe what he just heard. He thought they were through all of this bullshit. Apparently not. Damn him! Damn Bones! He turns and walks out, grabbing his jacket as he slams the front door. Things are not alright, and they may never be again.

****

_We can't go on together_  
 _With suspicious minds_  
 _And we can't build our dreams_  
 _On suspicious minds_

 

 

 

**Title:** Sorry  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Pairing:** Kirk/McCoy  
 **Summary:** Leonard can’t believe he let it come to this.  
 **Warnings:** Angst like wow.  
 **Disclaimer:** All things Trek belong to Mr Roddenberry and TPTB. I own nothing except some fantastic fantasies.  
Pic was originally posted for the April 25th, 2011 SWMoM 

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/treksnoopy/pic/0001fqrp/)

_**Sorry**_  
Songwriters: Josh Todd, Keith Nelson, Marti Frederiksen  
Performed by Buckcherry

****

_Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away_  
 _I missed you and things weren't the same_  
 _'Cause everything inside it never comes out right_  
 _And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die_

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue_  
 _I'm sorry about all things I said to you_  
 _And I know, I cant take it back._  
 _I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds_  
 _And baby, the way you make my world go round_  
 _And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry_

Leonard takes a deep breath and tries to calm his nerves as he stands in the parking lot. Finally. It’s taken him three days to find Jim and now that he has, he’s terrified.  
He can’t believe he let it come to this. His own stupid jealousy and insecurities have driven away the best part of his life.

He’d drank himself to unconsciousness that night and went to work the next day with a killer hangover. He hadn’t heard from Jim but he was still angry so he really didn’t become concerned until he got home that night. Jim had been home and had cleaned out most of his things.

All of their friends knew what had happened and that’s his fault too. When Jim left he’d gone to Spock and Nyota. Where else was he going to go? The tongue lashing he’d gotten from Nyota still stung and even Spock had not been unaffected. The Vulcan had looked as angry as a Vulcan could and still be in control. But that was nothing compared to the fury Gaila had unleashed when she finally agreed to speak to him that morning. She’d said- no screamed at him- that he was, without a doubt, the stupidest man in the galaxy and if Jim never spoke to him again it would serve him right.

He agrees with Gaila. He just hopes Jim doesn’t.

****

_This time I think, I'm to blame_  
 _It's harder to get through the days_  
 _You get older and blame turns to shame_  
 _'Cause everything inside it never comes out right_  
 _And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die_

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue_  
 _I'm sorry about all things I said to you_  
 _And I know, I cant take it back_  
 _I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds_  
 _And baby, the way you make my world go round_  
 _And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry_

Jim is sitting on the rocks. He’s curled into himself and staring straight ahead when Leonard finally walks up and stands behind him. Jim knows he’s there but doesn’t acknowledge him. Leonard feels his stomach churn and his throat tighten but he pushes it down and tries to speak. At first it’s just a whisper so he swallows and tries again. “Jim? Jim, please listen to me. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe any of this. I just… I don’t know but I’m so sorry.”

Jim continues to stare straight ahead and there’s a hitch in his voice “Tell me something, Bones. Please? What have I ever done to make you think I’d cheat on you? I don’t understand.”

Leonard understands all too well. This doesn’t have anything to do with Jim. Okay, maybe a little. Back in the beginning Jim had been a wild one, but that was before this. Since they became “them” Jim had never given him one real reason to doubt him. No, this was all Leonard, and it was time to face it.

His voice is shaky but he manages to reply “Nothing darlin’. Nothing at all.”

Jim finally looks over his shoulder at him. He looks terrible, like a man who hasn’t slept or eaten in days. Gaila had said as much but seeing Jim like this really drove home how much damage had been done. “Then why?” It’s almost a whisper.

“It’s hard to talk about.”

“Bones, I love you, but I’m not sure I can do this anymore.” Jim’s crying now, his knees drawn protectively to his chest with his arms wrapped around them tightly. It tears Leonard’s heart and soul apart to know he’s the cause of Jim’s pain, but it’s nothing compared to the absolute panic he’s feeling.

“Oh, God! Jim, no! I’m so sorry, darlin! It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“No, Bones. It’s not enough this time. I need to know where this is coming from.” Then Jim looks directly into his eyes and says, “Now.” There is no room for protest.

  
****

_Every single day, I think about how we came all this way_  
 _The sleepless nights and the tears you cried_  
 _It's never too late to make it right_  
 _Oh yeah_  
 _Sorry_

Leonard sits on the rock next to Jim, but not touching. He rubs his hands over his face. He’s never talked about this with anyone. How it hadn’t been just the one time he’d caught Jocelyn with Clay that broke up his marriage, but a series of lovers. How each time she’d promised it was the last time and how he’d believed her. How he’d wanted to believe her. Clay had simply been the last straw. He looks at Jim. He’s hurt him so badly. He owes him this explanation. He can see it may not be enough, but it’s all he has left. Leonard takes a few deep breaths then begins.

Jim listens quietly. Leonard can see him trying to make sense of everything, trying to draw correlations between the two relationships. He can also see that it’s not happening.  
When he finishes, Jim simply says “But I’m not her.” And Leonard knows this. He knows this, dammit! What the hell is wrong with him?

****

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue_  
 _I'm sorry about all things I said to you_  
 _And I know, I cant take it back_  
 _I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds_  
 _And baby, the way you make my world go round_  
 _And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry_

They sit in silence for what seems like an eternity, but is probably only a few minutes. Finally, as Jim draws a deep breath to speak, Leonard holds his. “I’ll come home, Bones, but only if you get some help with this. You need to see a counselor. I know she hurt you, but this has gotten way out of hand. I can’t go on like this, so you either get some help or we’re finished.” Jim bows his head and curls tighter into himself as if he’s preparing himself for a backlash of anger.

Leonard’s not able to stop the tears. He moves behind Jim and cautiously wraps his arms around him. Jim uncurls just enough to allow it and Leonard is relived. “Anything, Jim, anything you say. I’m so sorry about all of this.” He nuzzles his face into Jim’s neck, breathing in his scent and pulling him closer. He knows it’s going to take time to work through the mess he’s created, but right now he’s just thankful he’s going to get the chance. 


End file.
